Top 50 albums of the 00s.

After hiding away from feminazis who believe being pretty is a stab in the back of the femenist movement, and scared me gay, I decided to come back once more and post that damn dreadful top 50 albums of the decade list, which has taken me weeks to complete. It was supposed to be a top 10-20, but that was pretty much impossible. As it is, I had to pick, then organize these out of thousands, literally thousands of other albums.

This list is based on uh, personal subjectivity, taste and opinion. If you're susceptible to individual/different opinions, I strongly recommend you exit this page and never open it again.

I wanted to type something really witty and amazing about each album, but no es posible! :(

Album Title - Artist Name.

• 50.- Middle Cyclone - Neko Case (2009)
• 49.- Man Mountain - Blue States (2002)
• 48.- Karuki Zaamen Kurinohana - Shiina Ringo (2003)
• 47.- The Blue God - Martina Topley-Bird (2008)
• 46.- Uh Huh Huh - Natalia Lafourcade (2009)
• 45.- 5:55 - Charlotte Gainsbourg (2006)
• 44.- Noah's Ark - CocoRosie (2005)
• 43.- The Only Thing I Ever Wanted - Psapp (2007)
• 42.- I Put a Record On - Gudrun Gut (2007)
• 41.- Veneer - José González (2006)

• 40.- Émilie Simon - Émilie Simon (2003)

Really. OMG. Graine D'étoiles is one of the best songs ever recorded. Very touching lyrics, plus Perry Blake's beautiful voice and Stanislas De Nussac's string arrangements.

This is the very first album that dragged me into pop world. Pop made simple and non-overproduced.

Her child-like voice and catchy melodies made it impossible not to keep listening. Thank you, Mina, for this recommendation, back in the day!

• 39.- Taxidermy - Queen Adreena (2000)
• 38.- Songs for Someone - Perry Blake (2004)
• 37.- Wiser - Halou (2001)
• 36.- The Mating Game - Bitter:Sweet (2006)
• 35.- Guilty, Guilty, Guilty - Diamanda Galás (2008)
• 34.- No Shouts, No Calls - Electrelane (2006)
• 33.- Some Loud Thunder - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (2007)
• 32.- Me and Armini - Emilíana Torrini (2008)
• 31.- Picaresque - The Decemberists (2005)

• 30.- Skeletal Lamping - Of Montreal (2008)
• 29.- New Amerykah Part One - Erykah Badu (2008)
• 28.- The Pirate's Gospel - Alela Diane (2006)
• 27.- Demon Days - Gorillaz (2005)

• 26.- White Chalk - P J Harvey - (2007)

Friends asked why White Chalk instead of Stories. Well, I'll tell you why: WC is different from anything she's ever done. This is the album where, yes, Polly, we can see you never repeat yourself. While I adore Stories, and it just keeps growing on me (though I still believe it's her weakest album), found some gems in Uh Huh Her, and have a soft spot for A Woman A Man Walked By (what a mess, though), I find WC to be intense, inspired, dark and very, very original. She actually challenged herself both musically and vocally; she took a risk with this album, and I appreciate it.

Polly essentials of the decade: The Whores Hustle and the Hustlers Whore, Kick it to the Ground, A Place Called Home, 30, This Mess We're In, 66 Promises, Horses in my Dreams, We Float, Big Exit, As Close As This, My Own Private Revolution, Shame, You Come Through, Pocket Knife, Dance, The Darker Days of Me & Him, Bows & Arrows, Stone, The Phone Song, The Devil, The Piano, The Mountain, White Chalk, Broken Harp, Sixteen, Fifteen, Fourteen, The Soldier, Cracks in the Canvas.

• 25.- Comicopera - Robert Wyatt (2007)
• 24.- Andorra - Caribou (2007)
• 23.- Turning Dragon - Clark (2008)

Nothing screams "I want to get an STD tonight!" like Turning Dragon.

• 22.- Una Sangre - Lila Downs (2004)
• 21.- Night Bugs - Sarah Slean (2002)

• 20.- Ys - Joanna Newsom - (2006)

Aww. This album is so beautiful. Very elegant, minimal. Very complex and weird. Weird is Joanna's strength. For some reason, I can totally hear a Boys for Pele influence on this record. This girl kicks mayor ass live!

• 19.- Knowle West Boy - Tricky (2008)
• 18.- Silent Shout - The Knife (2007)

• 17.- Out of Season - Beth Gibbons & Rustin Man (2003)

Able to capture Portishead's eerie sound, still a very unique album and with its own merit, with very obvious Nina Simone influence all over it. Highlights: Spider Monkey, Mysteries, Tom the Model, Romance. Think the unexpectedness of this album also makes it so great.

• 16.- Scale - Herbert (2006)
• 15.- Desert Doughnuts - Metallic Falcons (2006)
• 14.- Junior - Röyksopp (2009)

• 13.- Précis - Benoît Pioulard (2004-2006)
• 12.- Third - Portishead (2008)

• 11.- The Living Road - Lhasa (2003)

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• 10.- We Are Him - The Angels of Light (2007)

• 09.- Soviet Kitsch - Regina Spektor (2004-2005)

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• 08.- Aerial - Kate Bush (2005)

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• 07.- Vespertine - Björk (2001)

Originally called Domestika, I remember listening to an advance copy of this album back in early 2001, and not quite getting any of the songs. I only really liked Pagan Poetry ("Blueprint") instantly, and the rest was very "dull", at least after Homogenic it was. It wasn't until I got the DVD-Audio version of this album that I fully appreciated it (how did you make strings sound like Tetris music, Björk, on the CD version of this, anyway?). Then came the videos, then the b-sides, and the live performances. This is truly a gorgeous record, with otherworldly string arrangements and a very strange sound. I hope one day this album will stop being so misunderstood.

Recommend: Pagan Poetry, Verandi, Domestica, Heirloom, Hidden Place, It's Not Up to You, Generous Palmstroke, Aurora, Unison, Foot Soldier.

• 06.- Extraordinary Machine (unreleased version) - Fiona Apple (2002-2004)

Fuck you, Sony. Fuck you ad infinitum! Why, oh why was this album not ever released? You know that I hate unmastered version of songs- they sound like someone trying to drum a wet vagina: not right. The unreleased version of this album has passion, and inspiration, and amazing, amazing production. It was the perfect step from When the Pawn and yet, you decided to "shelve" the album, butcher it and release a Madonna-like-numbed-down version of it. Damn you to hell for it! At least we have the low quality leaked version of it...

Favorites: Oh Well, Not About Love, Red Red Red, Window, Better Version of Me (version 4), Used to Love Him, Waltz, Extraordinary Machine.

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• 05.- Cabin Fever! - Rasputina (1901)

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• 04.- Bring me the workhorse - My Brightest Diamond (2006)

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• 03.- Ruby Blue - Ròisìn Murphy (2005)

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• 02.- Wind in the Wires - Patrick Wolf (2005)

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• 01.- Scarlet's Walk - Tori Amos (2002)

Oh, how shocking, Mr. B. selected a Tori Amos record as the best. Well, yes, it is shocking, even for me, as I utterly hated this album upon first listen, and I still believe this is her album with the most precarious production (the piano is buried, the drums sound muffled, the vocals lack potency, the strings are pretty much inconsequential, and so on). So why pick this album if it's got so many flaws? Well, I'll tell ya: I think it's the best album of the decade, one, and Tori really is the person who started my passion for music in the first place. I wouldn't be so devoted to music if it weren't for her. Plus this is her album with very strong songwriting, and her last passionate album (plus it's her last pre-face-lift-blowup-glamzombie-doll album). It means something. It means Tori Amos's last great album.

She changed and moved on from the girl with the piano thing she had had going on for years. She evolved and recorded a mature album and I have made peace with her change.

Tori essentials of the decade: Mountain, Not David Bowie, Martha's Foolish Ginger, Seaside, Scarlet's Walk, Sweet Sangria, Tombigbee, Amber Waves, Smokey Joe, New Age, Rattlesnakes, Abnormally Attracted to Sin, That Guy, Police Me, Fire to Your Plain, Give, Winter's Carol, Carbon, Your Cloud, Gold Dust, Virginia.

After so much writing and re-writing, I am satisfied with this list. There ya have it.

No hay dos o, ¿sí?

Platicando con un emigo de mi visita al rancho y en vista de la aparente muerte de este blog, decidí escribir algo al respecto.

Le platicaba de las coralillo, tarántulas, ninel condes y demás animales que uno se encuentra en el monte. Aunque nada se compara con la letrina. La Letrina. La Letrina™. Oh, my gawd, ¡la letrina!

Digamos que es el equivalente inmóvil de la nefasticidad y el auto-odio, odio por el mundo, las razas y todas las criaturas lindas, y no tanto, del Señor, de Condoleezza Rice.

Cada que algo caía en la letrina, se podía escuchar, así literal, que era tan superficial como los guiones de M.D. House, y también se escuchaban los gusanos comiendo guano.

Ah, al parecer, le enseñé esa palabra a mi emigo: guano. No estaba seguro de cómo usarla, así que le dí un ejemplo: el guano cognitivo de Carla Estrada infecta todos los hogares cuyo ingreso es menor a $2,500 al mes.

En una de esas, de noche, salió un murciélago de por ahí adentro, del hoyo ese del infierno. Eso fue peor que aquella vez que se me cayó mi Paletón Corona a la tierra y mi padre ya no me quiso comprar otro.

Excelente viaje, salvo por el frío insufrible de la sierra que, aún cuando mantenía mis bolas en mi cuerpo todo el tiempo, no era suficiente para ahuyentar a los mosquitos que, según mi recolección, no son partidarios del frío. Aún así, hay ronchas en las ronchas. Comida única, gente real y hermosa en todos los aspectos, saludar a la familia, aún sin entender a algunos, pero ya extrañándolos, hicieron que valiera la pena.

Sin punto de adoración ni próxima distracción, me di cuenta por qué tenía más de 5 años sin ir por aquellos rumbos.

Diez años después. Otra vez.

Otro álbum digno de mención, diez años después de su lanzamiento (Noviembre 9 de 1999), es When the Pawn... cuyo título de 90 palabras tuvo el récord mundial al más largo de la historia hasta Octubre de 2007, el cual originalmente se lee: When the pawn hits the conflicts, he thinks like a king; what he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight; and he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring; there's no body to batter when your mind is your might; so when you go solo, you hold your own hand- and remember that depth is the greatest of heights; and if you know where you stand, then you know where to land, and if you fall it won't matter, cuz you'll know that you're right, el cual nació como un poema después de que Fiona leyera un artículo en Spin el cual decía cosas negativas de ella.

Recuerdo ser fan de Fiona circa Criminal (1997) y haber comprado su primer álbum, Tidal, en ese entonces. When the Pawn... tuvo tan mala, mala promoción que no supe de él sino hasta a finales de 2000.

Foto promocional.

Este álbum no me dijo nada en un principio. De hecho, odié su sonido tan aparentemente plano. No escuchaba los altos y bajos, y me dejó de interesar. No lo volví a escuchar hasta finales de 2002, algunos meses antes de saber que Fiona trabajaba ya en su tercer disco, Extraordinary Machine y, bueno, creo que es seguro decir que no hay mejor álbum que describa la mentecatez de los hombres de una forma tan inteligente, honesta, pura y sentida y que, de alguna forma, este álbum es la hermana muñuda, con una desorden alimenticio de Version 2.0; es amargo porque quiere serlo - se quiere permitir sentir todo lo que llegue, porque es la única forma de salir de ese Egipto mental en el que tiene tiempo atrapado, para descubrir que todo fue un mal sabor de boca dejado por falta de concentración, algún tipo de novedad pseudo-romántica que termina siendo purulenta porque ella lo permitió, sin darse cuenta, o sin querer hacerlo.

Matt Chamberlain en la bateria, arreglos de cuerdas (violines, violas, chelos, etc.) y el piano de Apple, con sus acordes histericos e invariablemente precisos, inyectando de esteroides a las letras ya-intensas.

Rich Costley (ingeniero de sonido), Fiona Apple y Jon Brion (productor y amigo de la cantante) en el estudio durante el nacimiento del álbum.

1.- On the Bound

Una oda a lo corto de la vida pero, más que eso, a cómo ese temor de morir, no tener todo lo que queremos, de no estar completamente satisfechos con quien somos o simplemente de la incertidumbre del futuro nos lleva a querer perdernos en otro. Pero, y ese otro, ¿quién es? ¿Qué intenciones tiene? Ojalá me hubiera hecho estas preguntas antes de involucrarme, ¿no? No sé a donde voy o siquiera donde estoy, pero ven, acércate y dime que te intereso; nada más importa ya.

También tiene uno de los párrafos mejor escritos/cantados de la música pop:

I don't know what I'm doing- don't know, should I change my mind? I can't decide, there's too many variations to consider. No thing I do don't do no thing but bring me more to do- it's true, I do imbue my blue unto myself, I make it bitter.

You're all I need and maybe some faith would do me good.

Esta relación terminó siendo placebienta, ¿no? Esta rola sólo da una pequeña probadita para lo que sigue. Abre el disco perfectamente bien.

2.- To Your Love

Oh, la indisponibilidad. Por lo menos ella está consciente de ella y está siendo honesta al respecto. En mi estimación, Fiona es la que toma el lugar de la victimaria, siendo la víctima. Ella se proyecta por medio de sus acciones, como una forma de 1) entenderlas, 2) justificarlas, 3) procesarlas y hacer algo al respecto o todas las anteriores. En la letra, él está disponible, y quiere estar con ella, y no tiene miedo de hacerselo saber - pero ella huye de él cada vez que hay intimidad, no necesariamente física. También tiene uno de mis párrafos favoritos en música pop:

My derring-do allows me to dance the rigadoon around you

But by the time I'm close to you I lose my desideratum and now you.

Tan cierto hoy como cuando fue escrito.

3.- Limp

La canción decididamente idiosincrásica de When the Pawn... aquí ya no está el estira y afloja. Aquí es este wey ya me chingó, ahora que se vaya a la verga. Ya no me interesa lo que tenga que decir, sólo que me deje en paz y vaya a masticar coño de niña pobre sudamericana (¿Peruana?), espero que ET te meta su dedote de la justicia. So call me crazy; hold me down; make me cry; get off, now, baby. Cualquiera que la haya escuchado sabe que esta rolita habla por sí misma.

El vídeo, como los otros dos del álbum, dirigidos por el entonces-novio de la seño Apple, Paul Thomas Anderson, por una parte muestra a la mujer soñando que sueña con estar enojada, estando en su mismo apartamento, arreglándose, maquillándose, donde su propio ambiente es bueno para ella (creo que se refiere a la bendita soltería y, no estoy seguro, pero estoy casi seguro que la pintura del rompecabezas es de su autoría), yéndose a dormir y, por otra parte, muestra a la mujer sobresaltada en su cama, despierta, obviamente, gritando la canción, hasta que al final se levanta (arreglada) y se va al baño, a verse en el espejo, para tratar, de alguna forma, de retomar la autoestima diezmada por la relación tan absurda que tuvo.

Screenshots del vídeo.

4.- Love Ridden

Sencilla, honesta, directa. Saber cuando decir "no" es un talento adquirido por experiencia que todos deberíamos aprender a temprana edad.

Habla de la "apatía saludable", del dolor del corazón al tener que evitar a tu ex, pues aún sientes algo por él, pero sabes que lo mejor es precaver interacción y dejar que el tiempo haga lo suyo. Sé que suena super cliché, pero en las letras de Miss Apple nunca hay nada cliché:

My hand won't hold you down no more; the path is clear to follow through. I stood too long in the way of the door and now I'm giving up on you.

Me gusta que el ritmo y el sentimiento de la música simulan la velocidad de una relación: desde lo tierno, lo que empieza siendo no forzado, hasta la locura que provoca, luego el "segundo aire" y finalmente el desvanecimiento.

5.- Paper Bag

I was starin' at the sky, just lookin' for a star

To pray on or wish on or something like that

I was havin' a sweet fix* of a daydream of a boy

Whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope

And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed

But as it came down near, so did a weary tear

I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag.

[...] hunger hurts* but starvin' works when it costs

Too much to love.

[...] I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.

*Por varios años Fiona ha sufrido un trastorno alimenticio y en esta rola lo usa en una forma metafórica.

Hambre de caricias y sed de atención te pueden llevar a comer en el Chai (sí, el café horrendo de Guadalajara) y creer que haz tenido un manjar, con una atención sin precedentes.

La reticencia y la apatía que nos mantiene solos finalmente cobra su cheque cuando conocemos a alguien que nos mueve el tapete, para después darnos cuenta que la cuenta fue mayor a lo que siquiera imaginamos llegar a consumir, pues hubo una infatuación donde no debió y con quien no debió. Como una vez lo dijo aquella otra mujer del pop: we need to find like-minded companions.

Portadas comerciales del sencillo.

Screenshots del vídeo.

Gracias a Jebus Fiona no se dedica a bailar - en el vídeo sale en un diner, bailando con unos niños. Aunque se ve hermosa con su vestidote rojo.

6.- A Mistake

Cansadísima de la rutina diaria, de hacer siempre lo que SeSupone. Decide que hacer siempre lo mismo y esperar diferentes resultados es la definición de locura, así que cometerá un error o, lo que otros llamarían un error, para obtener algo diferente. El que sea un error o no está abierto a la interpretación - por lo pronto, basta de rendir cuentas.

Do I wanna do right?

Of course.

But do I really wanna feel I'm forced to answer you?

Hell no!

7.- Fast as You Can

Aquí la "víctima" tiene un pene de 20 cms (hmmm) y bolas colgando - la chica que todos conocemos, la que ve a los chicos como juguete es la "victimaria". Sí, le interesas, pero ella evita toda emoción (especialmente el "amor") y hace lo posible por sacarte de su vida. Sabe que esto te mantiene interesado (you say you don't spook easy, you won't go but I know, and I pray that you will), así que no le queda más remedio que poner algunos letreros de precaución y seguir jugando contigo. ¿Por qué? Es su forma de decir, "estás demasiado cerca y me asusta perderme en tí".

I let the beast in and then;

I even tried forgiving him, but it’s too soon

So I’ll fight again, again, again, again, again.

Por "bestia" quiere decir "amor/atracción/interés".

Portadas comerciales del sencillo.

Portada promocional del sencillo. Pintura por Fiona Apple.

Creo que el vídeo tiene poco o nada que ver con la rola, pero ella seguro se ve hermosa.

Screenshots del vídeo.

8.- The Way Things Are

Entumecimiento total de las emociones por malas experiencias. Este es un tiempo de crecimiento personal y soledad. Lo peor es que esto me sucedió durante nuestra relación así que, no hay mucho ya que pueda hacer por ti. Me he cerrado emocionalmente y es evidente que hay que seguir adelante con la vida.

Pero, espera. La culpa de una relación fallida no es meramente de una persona, ¿o sí? ¿Cómo me puedes pedir algo que no me has estado dando?

How can I fight when we're on the same side?

Tu insistencia sólo está dañando lo que queda así que,

If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle

And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be

Able to move on.

9.- Get Gone

La hermana madura de Limp, pues se siguió prestando anteción a esta persona que detentó el tiempo, pensamiento, energía, oxígeno y cariño por tanto tiempo. Ya.

How many times can it escalate

Till it elevates to a place I can't breathe?

And I must decide, if you must deride

That I'm much obliged to up and go

I'll idealize, then realize that it's no

Sacrifice, because the price is paid, and

There's nothing left to grieve

Fuckin' go!

10.- I Know

La canción más afable del álbum, la más honesta y la más tierna. La única canción, según la misma Fiona, con un final feliz. De hecho, en mi mente esta canción es la probadita de lo que nos esperaba con Extraordinary Machine- honestidad consigo mismo, tomar la propia parte de la culpa y saber qué se puede esperar de Lagente™. Madurez y entrega total sin pedir nada a cambio.

And you can use my skin to bury secrets in and I will settle you down.

Ya no se criban las emociones, ya no se filtran los pensamientos - sólo se siente y se es.

So for the time being, I'm being patient.

And amidst this bitterness, if you'll just consider this- even if it don't make sense.

(All the time - give it time)

And when the crowd becomes your burden and you've early closed your curtains,

I'll wait by the backstage door while you try to find the lines to speak your mind

And pry it open, hoping for an encore. And if it gets too late, for me to wait,

For you to find you love me, and tell me so-

It's ok, don't need to say it.

Habla por sí mismo.

Foto promocional.

Felicidades, When the Pawn... por haber envejecido con tanta gracia. Álbumes como tú hacen que Paulina Rubio se vea como una tachuela oxidada en el zapato de la cultura universal.

Oh, espera...eso ya era así antes de tu nacimiento.

I know who you are.

Why would she want to shame herself into relief? So unladylike, no one can guess. "But, remember, that piece that begins, 'Surrender, then-'" - yes, but no -I was only 14 back then- maybe not even 14. "I've been searching for myself", you interrupted.

In the background, an armageddon-esque beat, a chanting that seems to simulate early morning rain, and a lush voice, j'ai parsemé, j'ai déposé, des graines d'étoiles opales - sur ton chemin... and, at this very sight, I know that I have fallen for you. Fallen when I shouldn't have. Though, your eyes are smiling, and you are no dowager, but this is no mistake. One does not choose these things, either way, does one? I will look for you, even in Death. Just stay in the shade. Stay in the shade and wait for me, there.

Golden Star.

I always felt so far from you,

Like something wasn't right.

But tonight,

I rest my head inside the crook of your arm

And I feel like a golden star.

Exploding

(tonight we are full)

Exploding

(tonight we rejoice)

Exploding

(you are my golden star)

Exploding!

1...

2...

Though everything has come undone,

The distance between us closes

And everything is suddenly...

Exploding

(tonight we are full)

Exploding

(tonight we rejoice)

Exploding

(you are my golden star)

Exploding!

Tonight we are full up!

In spite we rejoice!

Tonight we are full up!

In spite we rejoice, like stars!

Exploding...

Click.

Rising.

I got caught in a storm

And carried away

I got turned, turned around

I got caught in a storm

That's what happened to me

So, I didn't call

And you didn't see me, for a while

I was rising up

Hitting the ground

And breaking

And breaking...

I got caught in a storm

Things were flying around

Doors were slamming

And windows were breaking

And I couldn't hear what you were saying

I couldn't hear what you were saying

I couldn't hear what you were saying...

I was rising up

Hitting the ground

And breaking

And breaking...

Rising up

Rising up.

Click.

The veredict.

June 6th:

There are a couple of things any Tori Amos fan worth their salt should know when talking about her:

Tori Amos loves Tori Amos.

Tori Amos is too damn talented for her own good.

Tori Amos is unconfortable with her appearence, and has been for years before the "touch up".

Yes, her plastic surgery affected me, in a way, on a personal level. I always saw the woman as one with steel integrity - idolized her to no end. But Myra Ellen Amos is just another human being, with insecurities, fears, flaws, lies and truths about her. I realize, though, that Tori Amos, the person, has never really interested me in the least - at some point I found her personal life interesting; I too once thought her as one with superior intellect - but let's face it, there is more paranoia and shallowness to this woman than there is authenticity and sincerity. Her political views are misinformed, paranoid and often times plain stupid.

Having said that, I know I should be focusing on the Tori Amos she gives more freely (freer for cunts that download and never buy): the musician- but it's quite difficult when Mrs. I-have-so-much-money-I'll-throw-it-at-your-face-every-chance-I-get talks about couture, travelling, how much her living costs and how much Husband™ spends on recording equipment channelled in a Parish-Hilton-wannabe vibe, then talks about how Give is about the recession and how terrible it is. It's like having a recently laid off friend over for dinner and showing them how much you just spent on a 32" plasma screen.

June 30th:

So evidently I decided one month wasn't enough time with this album.

In a world obsessed with small lighters and big cocks, Abnormally Attracted to Sin comes for the one who likes to pretend to be sexually sophisticated (come on, nothing sophisticated about the Fuck Me eyes, or a rim job, or a rim job breath) - an album that requires avoiding, at all cost, what Tori Amos has to say about.

All the poppycock and prevaticating really do prevent one from enjoying the album for what it is: a lust-enameled, luxurious fun gem that is very out there (the title track is lush); an album that makes her happy, seemingly. To expect her to write Boys for Pele part deux (not musically, but in the inspirational, progressive sense) 14 years later is just delusional - she is not the same person she was back then, and probably it's best for her own sake.

I like the fact that the lack of musical structure (Police Me, Welcome to England, Starling) is back on the game but, as a whole, it's still missing the way her former albums (namely, her first 5) used to coalesce into a huge pile of flawless genius.

While I enjoy the album greatly and still think it's a big step in the right direction from the last two albums, and the production is mostly flawless, I am a bit saddened she doesn't think of the piano, which initially brought me to her 11 years ago, as the main instrument- it's so buried in the mix you can barely tell it's there - however, thank jeebus for stealing music from the internet, coz I found solo versions of Fire to Your Plain and Lady in Blue (2009 05 28, some radio show) that tell me she's still got it. These are breathtaking and beautiful, download them!

Why doesn't she fuck that piano in the studio like she does live will always be a mystery to me- the mind boggles when you get to hear the two Tori Amos that are there: not Pip, not Santa nor Jabba the Hut - Tori Amos, the snobbish cunt who believes the goverment is after her, and Tori Amos who cares about nothing but her piano.

When she loses all relevance (within the next 5 years? You know her albums sales have dropped, significantly) and no one cares about pseudo-pomo alt electronic-acoustic music maybe she'll release an album where the piano matters again? Let us hope so, because as much as I love to hate her wrongheaded decisions, I know I will follow her until she stops making music.

Loving the album (and that amazing djembé in Flavor) for what it is and not hating it for what it's not.

Personal final tracklist:

Give

Welcome to England

Fire yo Your Plain

Police Me

Abnormally Attracted to Sin

Flavor

Strong Black Wine

That Guy

Curtain Call

Lady in Blue

I think the album flows perfectly like this.

Oh, and...

Mary Jane (The Lost Visualette).